Going Radical: Only girls can do it!

‘You know; I am so glad today. My daughter is starting to help me. She vacuumed all the rooms perhaps to make her cleanliness obsessed mom happy.’

‘Yeah! You got a daughter, daughters do that, they help in household chores. what to do! boys don’t do it.’

Dear Women,

I couldn’t believe my ears first when I got those responses. I just thought you all would be happy to hear my daughter’s involvement in helping her mother. But you generalized the customized act of my daughter with gender role assignment. I gasped with utter disbelief. I wanted to throw my preaching to you. But, I can’t because everybody owns their perception that's been founded on our background, level of progressive thoughts and I shouldn’t be interpreting your thoughts in negative way. And in my own style, I pondered why boys don’t do those household chores, why they are so destructive unlike girls as all mothers’ claim. Is it because they are intellectually, physically, socially compromised? I immediately get answer they are not because I see them as capable as all the girls are. The only different part is genitalia. Their hands, legs, other body parts are well crafted as their female matches and I guess they are even stronger. So, I conjectured what could be the differences that led them away from the skills of household chores that are so vital and essential in everybody’s life.

So, I want to share what I observed. I feel that the sociocultural aspects play important role rather that their physical, mental and social ability. The role expectation that we carry as soon as the babies are borne depending on the genitalia they carry might have important role in developing the skills, attitude, behaviors by those girls and boys.
When a baby boy is borne, his parents wouldn’t expect him to be taking care of household chores, or doing the things, which normally a girl would do. However, a girl is expected to follow every footstep that her mother take. While raising a girl, it’s so natural to ask her to sweep the floor, clean the dishes, organize the things at home, cook foods, to take care of anyone but on the other hand, a mother or father would never expect their son to do so. As a result, daughter involves in the household works even before she knows her gender role. However, we carry the notion about boys as they don’t do such work and we never ask them to get involved in such activities. Because perhaps this is so unmanly or womanly to do such work. It’s us, be it educated or uneducated we are indoctrinated with the gender role expectation and we simply say, ‘boys don’t do it!' and we chuckle and we raise a boy who even don’t care to clean a room. When boys want to play outside, have you ever heard a mother saying, ‘first clean the room, bring water and then only you are clear to go and play’? but those conditions are expected for girls.

But I just want to say all the mother with children, ‘Please don’t raise a child who wouldn’t even vacuum their room or keep room clean or cook for oneself.’ The world is so competitive. Most will attend colleges, be educated and earn a way of livelihoods and I expect my daughter do the same but what makes your child different is if he or she will be able to do his personal/household care on his own or not, if he will be able to make positive changes or not. Please don’t give a son to the world who doesn’t help her mother or father but cares to continue the legacy of false manhood. Please don’t give the man who ignores the people in his house but care to play whatever ball only because he is male. Please raise a humble child who will help in creating a beautiful, harmonious world. Raise a son the way you want your husband to be and You don’t have to worry later if your son is henpecked husband if he helps his wife later because if he starts doing things since childhood, it seems natural. If you don’t change, we will never see change.

- Fellow mother of a girl child